


Decorum Would Demand

by rm (arem)



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-30
Updated: 2013-01-25
Packaged: 2017-11-22 22:21:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/614997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arem/pseuds/rm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaine decides the answer to problems in his and Kurt's relationship is domestic discipline. But they both discover you can't really squash chaos with control, you can only shift what's completely out of hand.</p>
<p>Based on this kink-meme prompt: http://glee-kink-meme.livejournal.com/14588.html?thread=19349500</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> WARNINGS: Dubcon/noncon, rape, abuse, domestic discipline.
> 
> Please take the warnings seriously. The dub- and non-con is relentlessly central to this exercise. Additionally, there is a certain murkiness that I tried to give the entire story. I wanted love and horror and abuse to coexist in the ways we say it shouldn't, because that's somehow more awful than just plain old abuse. If you think this story may trigger you, you may be right. It feels like the darkest thing I've ever written; it was hard to write and I had to step away from it often because of the content. Please err on the side of caution with this one.
> 
> While I was posting it to the kink meme, people asked often if it would have a happy ending. I still don't know how to answer; it depends on your definition of happy.
> 
> This story is now complete. I will be posting a chapter every day until it is full available here, and then linking from the kink meme (where much, but not all of it resides).

Blaine sighs and scrubs a hand through his hair. “I don't know, Wes. Sometimes he just makes me fucking crazy.”

Wes chuckles. If Blaine's cursing, it has to be bad.

“But you --”

“Yes, yes, I love him and he makes me happy, but god, you know every single one of those things I told myself he would grow out of when we were seventeen? Or contented myself with knowing were twin to something just as annoying that I was doing? He still does. And I'm just really sick of being the grown up for both of us.”

“Don't forget that you and your salary volunteered to pamper his creative little heart.”

“I know, I know, and that's fine. But if I'm working 12 hour days so we can both have the lives we want, I don't need to come home to post-baking chaos, or printer explosions due to some mishap with his headshots and resumes, and I can't take my credit card away from him because I don't have time to deal with groceries and decorating and all that stuff he does so fabulously well, but sometimes.... He makes sticking to a budget impossible. And if it's not about Broadway or the wedding; he can't, or won't, plan even five minutes ahead. I'm just exasperated.”

Wes smirks at him through the whole rant. “Feel better now?”

“Yes. No. I don't know.”

“Have you talked to him about this?”

Blaine rolls his eyes. “Of course. And it gets better for like a day, and then he bakes something to apologize and there we are all over again.”

“Clearly, he was never spanked as a child,” Wes says.

“Clearly.”

“Well, it's never too late. God knows, I wanted to take a hand to both of you often enough when you were in the Warblers.”

*

It's Wes's offhand and not entirely appropriate comment (God, Blaine is never going to be able to unsee that) that sets Blaine Googling on adult spanking. That, of course, leads him to a lot of porn, which isn't necessarily unappealing, but also is rather beside the point. He's not interested in _rewarding_ Kurt for his continued bad behavior.

It is with a certain degree of uncertainty, Blaine finds himself relieved to discover there are people who say he doesn't have to. And so what if they're all straight and talking about their wives? The situation, even though he would truly never mistake Kurt for a girl, isn't that different from those very traditional lives. 

Blaine enables their household to exist, and Kurt runs it. And if Blaine is going to keep up his end of the bargain, he not only has to make sure he excels at his think tank job that's all about charming people into believing he's smarter than them, but he has to make sure he gives Kurt the tools he needs to succeed too.

And that's not just auditions. And that's not just his credit card. 

Perusing the domestic discipline sites Blaine thinks, not for the first time, that Kurt does this, even if not consciously, on purpose; he needs limits and structure. 

And so Blaine considers the very real possibility that he's been failing this man he loves, and really, that just won't do at all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: dub-/non-con, rape, abuse, domestic discipline.
> 
> Not a nice story. Not kidding.

It takes about a week until Blaine is sure that this is what he wants to do, that this is what he thinks will be best for them. He has to be sure, or it won't work at all. Because this is not going to be a discussion or an experiment. This is going to be how things are, and it _is_ going to make things improve, and they are both going to be the better for it.

Once he's sure, he waits, because he thinks the best path into this for Kurt will require him doing something bad enough that he'll be able to more easily understand how much he really needs this. One of their monthly credit card statements more than provides.

Blaine goes down it with a pen, forcing himself to take deep breaths as he circles the offending items. Yes, they both like fine food, but their grocery bills alone are ridiculous. Does Kurt really need to buy $48/lb prosciutto?

“Kurt, come in here please,” Blaine calls from the living room. Kurt's in the kitchen cooking. Mentally he wonders what attempt at the world's most expensive ingredients he's interrupting now.

Kurt skids into their living room, apron on and whisk in hand. “Hey, sorry I've got --”

“Is it anything that will burn?”

“Not yet.”

“Go put down the whisk, take off the apron, I want to talk to you.”

“Am I in trouble again?” Kurt calls cheerily as he does so.

“Yeah, actually,” Blaine says.

“I'm sorry it's just --”

“No, Kurt. Two people should not have a monthly grocery bill over $400. And when I say yes, you can get that pair of shoes you're in love with, that does not mean to pick up two more because of the 50% off bonus.”

“But I was saving --”

“No. You are not saving money when you buy things not in the budget. And I have been racking my brains trying to figure out how to get through to you.”

“I'm sorry,” Kurt says, but it sounds almost like a question.

Blaine shakes his head. “Look, Kurt. I enable us to have this apartment and this lifestyle, and I'm fine with that. But I rely on you, when you're not auditioning, to make it wonderful for the both of us. And this sort of carelessness and stress? Isn't wonderful. I can't imagine you enjoy these conversations anymore than I do.”

“No.”

“But you don't dislike them enough to make sure they don't happen.”

“It's not --”

“It's incredibly disrespectful to me when you decide a new pair of shoes is more important than something we've agreed on.”

“Blaine --”

“So I think we need to stop agreeing.”

“Blaine?” Kurt asks, his voice small and frightened.

Blaine reaches for his hand, rubbing over his fingers. “This isn't an equal partnership, babe, and I think maybe we'd be better off if we both acknowledge that.”

“Oh my god are you breaking up with me?” Kurt asks, his eyes wide with panic and already wet.

“No, but from now on, I think you really need to think of me as the head of this house.”

“O- _kay_ ,” Kurt says hesitantly. Frankly, he thinks Blaine is being both a little ridiculous and a little scary.

“And as such, I think you need to be punished when you do stuff like this, so you can remember not to keep doing it, all right?”

Kurt nods, mainly because he has no idea what else to do. And if it seems frantic, or eager, it's only because he's desperate for Blaine to get to whatever terrible punchline is coming.

“Okay, good. Because that wasn't really a question,” Blaine says gently. “Pull down your pants and get over my knee.”

“Blaine!” Kurt says, scandalized.

“Wasn't asking for your opinion. Wasn't asking for backchat. You blew two different budgets this month, and I'm done discussing it with you. So over my knee.” Blaine holds eye contact with Kurt until his fiance finally looks away shamefacedly and moves to undo his pants.

“And give me your belt,” Blaine says.

“You can't be serious,” Kurt says as he does so.

“I'm sorry I've given you so many doubts, Kurt. I want to change all that. Starting now,” Blaine says, gentle again, as he pats his thighs to indicate that Kurt should get a move on and get into position.

*

Kurt feels ridiculous as he settles himself over Blaine's lap and tells him so.

Blaine smooths a hand over his ass. “What you should feel embarrassed about is your behavior,” Blaine says, glad Kurt can't see his face, because he feels a little ridiculous too. But that's all right; he's good at rising to challenges, and Kurt is definitely a challenge that he's been letting go for far too long.

“We're going to start slowly,” Blaine says, as he coils Kurt's belt around his hand so there are just a few inches of free leather with which to hit him. “And we'll be done when it seems you've learned your lesson.”

“And what's the criteria for that?” Kurt snarks, lifting his head up.

Blaine pushes is back down. “When you stop talking back for one.”

Just as Kurt is pondering how much he'd like to tell his fiancé to go fuck himself, because it's just a pair of shoes (well, two), and he ate those meals as well, the belt comes down on his ass.

“Ow!”

Blaine ignores him, and flicks the belt against his reddening skin several more times.

“Jesus, Blaine, seriously, that hurts,” he says, squirming to try to get away.

Blaine pushes his hand down on the center of Kurt's back. “This isn't a fight with me Kurt. This is a fight with yourself. Now calm down, take your punishment, and tell me why I'm doing this.”

“Because you've clearly lost your fashion-challenged little mind!” Kurt shouts, struggling again.

The thing is, Kurt knows he could get away if he really needed to. And he does really want to. But it's Blaine. Blaine who has bent the world to meet his needs from practically the moment they met. Blaine who gives him everything, and yes, puts up with a lot. And he seems so serious. 

Particularly, he can tell Blaine has no plan B here, and so Kurt doesn't feel like he can say no. It feels like far too massive of a deal-breaker. And so he drops his head, grits his teeth, and vows to wait this one out. He figures there's a decent chance Blaine will fuck him after, and at least that will be an improvement.

“That's better,” Blaine says, when Kurt stops physically struggling. “But why am I spanking you?”

“Because I overspent,” Kurt grits out.

“And?”

“Repeatedly.”

Blaine can't help but chuckle at that, although he swats Kurt harder for it. 

Kurt moans miserably. “And I didn't take you seriously, today.”

“Good,” Blaine says, sort of amazed. “That's a good insight.”

“And I was rude.”

“Yeah.”

“I often am,” Kurt says, his voice breathy and sounding oddly amused.

“Yeah, we're going to have to work on that.”

“This really hurts, Blaine.”

“I know, baby. I know. But I'm only doing it because I want to help,” Blaine says, mustering what he can in the haze of this weirdness from all the research he'd done.

“I'm mortified,” Kurt whispers.

“Good,” Blaine says quietly, trying to conceal the degree to which he's breathing heavily from beating Kurt.

“I wish you didn't have to do this.”

“Me too, baby, me too,” Blaine says. 

And that's when he hears it, a little sniff, before Kurt starts crying, and then, really, from there it's not even ten more strokes with the belt before he's absolutely sobbing and gasping for breath.

“Oh god, Blaine, I'm so sorry,” Kurt finally manages, his voice wrecked through the tears.

Blaine finally stops hitting him, and just soothes a hand over his hot skin. “I know you are, Kurt. I know. I know it's hard for you. I know this was hard for you today. But you were really good. I'm proud of you.”

“Thank you,” Kurt sniffs.

“You know this isn't the last time I'm going to spank you, right?” Blaine asks.

Kurt tries to shake his head and nod all at once as he starts crying harder again. Because he doesn't want that; he never ever wants this again, he's miserable and it hurts. But Blaine never does anything halfway, and really, it was hard for him to be surprised at all. Of course Blaine will do this again. He's just so ashamed.

“What if I don't screw up again?” Kurt asks, hopefully.

Blaine chuckles, fascinated by how oddly light he feels now that this is done, now that this is happening, and Kurt, while still full of fight, is just sliding into it. 

“Well, two things,” he says. “Everyone makes mistakes.”

Kurt snorts through his tears. “I have a lot of bad habits.”

“Good thing I love you then, huh?”

Kurt nods. It's all such a mess. “And the other?”

“Regardless of what you do, we'll be doing this once a week --”

“WHAT?” Kurt exclaims, trying to sit up.

Blaine swats him hard on across his ass, making his own hand sting. And that's why they'd said to use a belt. “It's to remind you of your place. So we can get less outbursts like that. Okay?”

Kurt goes limp and nods sullenly.

“Come on. Up,” Blaine says, maneuvering Kurt into a sitting position beside him on the couch as he pulls up his pants. “Give me a kiss.”

“I'm still crying,” Kurt says. He feels hideous for it.

“That's good, baby; that means you understand,” Blaine says, taking the small chaste kiss Kurt had refused him. “Now, after I punish you, you need to get into the habit of thanking me. For helping you like this, okay?”

Kurt nods, swiping at the tears on his cheeks, even as his eyes are still leaking. “How?”

“On your knees, sweetheart,” Blaine says, amazed as how pliant Kurt is right now as he helps him to the floor.

“Please tell me you don't want me to kiss your feet,” Kurt says.

“No,” Blaine says darkly. "That wasn't really what I had in mind."

*

This is a little more like it, Kurt thinks, as Blaine unfastens his own pants and directs Kurt's mouth to his cock. 

He's still ashamed, maybe even more so now, and he's still crying a little, which doesn't make the task any easier. But it's familiar, and it's Blaine, so it's home and god, as miserable as the spanking was it does at least feel a little bit less creepy to him if it's about something dirty. 

“That's so good, Kurt,” Blaine says, after he takes him particularly deep.

Kurt hums, pleased.

“God, your mouth is so good grateful,” Blaine says, tipping his head back against their couch.

Even through his lingering tears, Kurt flushes at the praise.

When he's close, Blaine pulls Kurt off him. “I want you to remember you're mine,” Blaine growls before he comes on Kurt face. Then he has to bat Kurt's hand away, not once, but twice – first when he tries to touch himself and then when he tries to clean his face.

“No, baby. This isn't about reward for you. And I want you to remember the lesson. You can clean your face before bed, or if I change my mind and we go out or something, but not until.”

Kurt's tears, always so real and so pretty, come again then, and Blaine smiles, pleased. “Come on, let me hold you a bit.”

Kurt shakes his head. “I'll get you messy.”

“Don't say no to me,” Blaine says with an affectionate grin. “Besides, I don't care. I love you, and that's the most important thing for you to remember, no matter how I have to punish you, okay? Making you happy and making you feel good are pretty much the only two things in my world.”

Kurt clambers up into his arms then, laying his messy face against Blaine's chest. He knows his fiance is telling the truth. There's no doubt in his mind. And right now, more than anything, aside from oddly content, that makes him feel completely screwed up.

*

Washing his face before his usual bedtime skincare routine proves to be the hardest thing Kurt's ever done. Looking at himself in the mirror with Blaine's come dried on his skin and his eyes and nose still swollen and puffy from crying is more humiliating than any of it. And he can feel Blaine watching him as he works, first at the sink in the bathroom and then at his vanity in their bedroom.

“Just as beautiful as ever,” Blaine says when Kurt finally smiles at himself satisfied with his layers of moisturizer and eye cream.

He gives Blaine a watery smile. “Yeah,” he says softly. “I guess I am.”

So Blaine gets him off with his hand, two fingers buried inside him as Kurt arches and cries out for him and it is so goddamn beautiful he can barely breathe. 

Kurt grins at him after for as long as he can before he slides into sleep and Blaine just sighs in relief a little to that Kurt doesn't hate him for this, even if he suspects this new way of doing things will probably make things worse before they get better.

Despite this, both of them sleep far more soundly than he would have expected, and Kurt is all smiles with him in the morning.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: dub-/non-con, rape, abuse, domestic discipline.
> 
> Not a nice story. Not kidding.

After Blaine leaves for work, Kurt spends a long time contemplating his phone. Because he has to call someone, tell someone. Because this whole thing is just far too much awful crazy (even if he feels so weirdly happy) not to run it by _someone_.

The problem is there's not really anyone he can call. Rachel would forget he's a boy, give him a speech about battered women, and then make it all about her. Mercedes would be righteously indignant and at least probably not gossip, but Kurt isn't so sure that's really enough to be useful. He can't call Finn, because that would be twenty-seven levels of awful and he would totally tell his dad, and wow, Kurt doesn't even want to think about that.

He takes a deep breath and let's it out. None of this feels okay, and yet it is. He and Blaine don't talk about their sex lives with their friends. And they certainly don't air their dirty laundry, at least not in any way that the other would ever find out about. They are, and have always been, a united front, and while Kurt feels uncomfortable with the idea of keeping _my boyfriend hit me_ a secret, he doesn't really see an alternative; as much as he doesn't entirely understand the situation, he knows their friends will get it even less.

*

Blaine calls him from work at lunch.

“Hey, you want to go out to dinner tonight?”

“I would _love_ to go out to dinner tonight.”

“Okay, great, choose a place, make reservations if we need 'em; I'll pick you up at 8.”

“Are you wooing me, Blaine Anderson?” Kurt asks flirtatiously.

“I've got a lot to make up for. I meant it when I say I want to take care of you. Yesterday was just the start.”

Kurt smiles as he feels himself flush. And at least Blaine can't spank him in a restaurant.

*

What Blaine can do in a restaurant is order for him. 

When Kurt can't decide between two items, Blaine chooses for him and informs the waiter. He doesn't think about it and he doesn't ask Kurt's permission. It's just reflex.

“That was a little strange,” Kurt notes when the waiter leaves.

“How do you feel about it?” Blaine asks.

“Part of the new package?”

“Yes.”

“So my input doesn't really....”

“Consider it idle curiosity,” Blaine says, his voice still flirtatious. “You don't look like you mind.”

“I don't, apparently,” Kurt says blinking. “But it is a little uncomfortable.”

“It's going to be, for a while,” Blaine says.

Kurt bites his lip and nods.

“It's also going to make things better,” he continues. “I promise.”

Kurt smiles at him then. He can't really _not_ reward Blaine's good intentions, no matter how really fucked up they've always been.

“So,” Blaine says, grabbing his hand. “Let's talk about what shows we want to see this month, and you can order the tickets tomorrow.”

Kurt claps his hands together excitedly and grins, and they spend rest of the meal talking Broadway as if everything in their lives hasn't just become incredibly strange.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: dub-/non-con, rape, abuse, domestic discipline.
> 
> Not a nice story. Not kidding.

It takes until Thursday until Kurt screws something else up royally.

He gets a call about an audition that morning right after Blaine's left for work. He ransacks his closet, changes outfits at least five times, and then leaves everything strewn about as he runs out the door. He hasn't done their dishes from breakfast either, but with the hours Blaine's been working, he figures he'll have plenty of time to clean it all up before he gets home.

*

Of course, that's not what happens.

His appointment winds up being 45 minutes later than he's been called for, because apparently casting offices for television shows set in hospitals are even less efficient than actually medical offices.

“You know how it is,” some P.A. says to him. “Hurry up and wait.”

Then, they actually like him, which is a mercifully wonderful thing, except that means they want to put him on tape, for real, not in a cell phone camera sort of way, but they didn't plan for that for whatever reason (it's TV, _hello?_ Kurt is mystified), so then he has to sit around and wait some more while other people get seen (so many boys _just like him_ ) while the gear gets messengered over.

And then no one can figure out how to make it work.

By the time Kurt gets home, after a practically mandatory delay on the subway, he's exhausted and hungry. He fixes himself a late lunch, flips on _The Sound of Music_ , and then promptly falls asleep on the couch.

*

Blaine comes home early, and he barely knows where to start. All the lights are on. The kitchen's a mess. Their bed is covered in Kurt's clothes, and Kurt's asleep on the couch as the DVD menu screen for _The Sound of Music_ recycles endlessly.

He sighs, because this he understands, he really does. Auditions are shit for anyone's equilibrium, and he's sure Kurt probably did mean to clean up before he came home. Nonetheless....

*

“Hey,” he says gently as he sits down on the edge of the couch and shakes Kurt's shoulder.

Kurt stretches and yawns and smiles at him.

“Rough day?” Blaine asks.

“You have no idea, but --”

“Save it?” Blaine says. “Because this place is a war zone, and I'd rather hear it after I have to punish you.”

Kurt's face falls. “Please don't. What time is it? I thought you'd be home later.”

“I know, but plans change, and it's why you shouldn't let things go.”

“I'll clean it up right --”

“You will. After I punish you.”

“Blaine --”

“You're not helping either of us here. Come on, kneel on the floor, chest on the couch,” Blaine says.

“I'm not even awake yet,” Kurt grumbles, but he does what he's told, even shoving down his pants without being asked. Maybe, he thinks, this will be easier if he's half asleep, and Blaine seems in a forgiving mood besides.

*

It's not a belt Blaine uses this time, but a flexible leather paddle. Kurt doesn't get a good look at it before he begins, and Blaine doesn't really warn him, but it's hard to miss his fiancé rummaging in his bag. 

Maybe after he's told Blaine about his audition, he'll tease him about whatever shopping he did on his lunch break. Blaine normally takes lunch at his desk, and Kurt finds it absurd that it's _this_ that is somehow making him drive himself less brutally at work.

He yelps at the first thwack of the paddle. It stings in a manner very similar to the belt, but it covers more surface area. He doesn't think he'll be able to bear it for long and worries over whether he'll bruise. He hasn't, surprisingly, from the other day, and he almost regrets that. He thinks if Blaine had seen marks he would never have wanted to do this again.

*

“This is going to be more severe than last time,” Blaine says as he works. “You know that right?”

“It hurts more,” Kurt says, worried about saying the wrong thing. “The paddle. It's... more,” he says, careful only to speak between hits, so his voice doesn't yelp or crack embarrassingly.

“Well, that too.” Blaine says. “Why am I spanking you?”

“Because you want to, Blaine,” Kurt says sharply.

Blaine brings the paddle down in a particularly sharp stroke in response to that. “The list just got longer. Try again.”

“I left the house a mess, and I think this is ridiculous.”

Again, Blaine hits him sharply, even if Kurt's tone has moved from bitchy to sullen.

“Try again.”

It's not actually hard for Kurt to figure out the right answer, but _wow_ , he does not want to give Blaine the satisfaction. It's stupid though, to refuse giving the right answer to prove some point that doesn't even make sense, and _dammit_ , this _hurts_ , so he takes a deep breath and forces himself to speak.

“I left my clothes everywhere. I didn't clean up from breakfast or lunch.”

“Good,” Blaine says, the strikes coming in a steady rhythm now, their placement shifting slightly to make sure they cover all of Kurt's ass. 

Kurt is sure his skin must be hot and swollen.

“What else?” Blaine asks.

“I probably wasted a lot of electricity,” Kurt says. He tries to say it through a laugh, but it catches in his throat. “Blaine,” he says miserably. “ _Please_ stop. It really hurts. The paddle's too much.”

This earns Kurt a series of particularly sharp smacks before Blaine settles into his previous rhythm. It makes Kurt gasp and lean into their sofa even more, as if that will somehow be enough to get away from it.

“You need to worry about why I'm doing this, and let me worry about how I'm doing this.”

“Blaine, it _hurts_ ,” Kurt says with an edge of hysteria in his voice. Blaine hopes the tears come soon.

“Trust me to know what's too much for you,” Blaine says softly.

*

It's Blaine's request for trust that makes Kurt lose it, because that's everything that's right and wrong with both of them right now.

Of course he trusts Blaine not to actually harm him, and to know when it's too much, and to be doing this from some strange place of goodness. He can't not. Blaine has that effect on him, and without Blaine and his faith in him, he's not even really Kurt. His faith in Blaine -- hell, their faith in each other -- has been a defining feature of his life since he was sixteen.

On the other hand, trust, _really?_ In the face of this crazy where spanking is how they deal with their relationship problems? 

It would be laughable if Kurt weren't sobbing with how miserable he feels at having let Blaine down.

*

Blaine strokes his hand over Kurt's ass as his fiancé sobs into their couch cushions. He murmurs praise and forgiveness against Kurt's ear until he calms a little, and them fists a hand in Kurt's hair to drag his face towards his crotch.

“I know you remember how to say thank you,” he says.

Kurt nods miserably, but then eagerly unfastens Blaine's clothes, diving into the task.

“Does sucking my cock calm you down?” Blaine asks softly.

 _It makes me forget_ , Kurt thinks, but he just sniffs and nods around him.

“Good boy,” Blaine says, tightening his fingers in his hair.

*

After, when Blaine's come across his face, Kurt desperately just wants to lean against him and get his bearings, but Blaine won't have it.

“Go clean up,” he says. “Kitchen first. Then bedroom. Then your face.”

“I don't have to,” he says absently, gesturing at his face, “until bed?”

Blaine shakes his head. “Not today. I want to hear about your audition. But not until everything is back in order, understand?”

Kurt nods as he stands and fixes his clothes, wincing at the stiffness in his knees.

He winds up crying silently to himself as he cleans, as Blaine sits on the couch and watches the news.

“I feel so humiliated, Blaine,” he finally says when he finishes the kitchen.

“That's a little bit the point.”

“And what's the rest?”

“You respecting me, and this house, and a whole lot less drama.”

“And when we get there, you'll stop doing this?”

Blaine shakes his head. “It doesn't work that way. I already told you. I've finally accepted that you need certain reminders of your place in this relationship, and we'll make a lot more progress a lot faster, if you do too. Now go finish what I told you to do.”

Kurt does, and it's easier in the bedroom without Blaine right there and the lights lower. But after he's done putting away his clothes and making their bed, he can't bring himself to go into the bathroom and witness the state of his face, and so he sits on their bed in the dark until Blaine comes to find him.

“What's taking so long?” he asks.

“I just... I couldn't... I – I need to talk to someone about this, Blaine. I can't just _process_ this inside my own head. But I can't just call our friends and be all 'Blaine's spanking me because I trail chaos and glitter in my wake,' and I'm _trying_ , but I just don't know what to do.”

Blaine sighs and goes into the bathroom for a washcloth. As he stares at himself in the mirror, he wonders again if he's doing the right thing. As much as Kurt is still fighting him, he's fighting to make sense of it more than he is to stop it, and Blaine can't help but take that as his blessing.

“Here,” he says, as he returns to their bedroom and gently cleans Kurt's face for him.

“Thank you,” Kurt sniffs.

“I think that makes sense. I'll try to figure it out. I mean, maybe it would help you to have a good example or some external support or something. It would probably help me too, okay?”

Kurt nods.

Blaine kisses him. “You took this well today, but there was a lot of back chat, and when I ask you to clean yourself up, that's just as important as anything else I ask you to do. Even more so. Do you understand?”

Kurt nods again.

“So the fact that I'm sitting here doing this for you, means you disobeyed. Again.”

“Blaine,” Kurt whines, his eyes going wide.

“Shhhhh, shhhhh, I'm not going to spank you again today. But I can't let this go. So I want you to spend the rest of the evening in here thinking about things. No lights, no TV, no music. If you fall asleep, you fall asleep.”

“You're sending me to bed without supper?”

“Yes.”

“Oh god,” Kurt moans.

“Come on, get undressed and I'll tuck you in. I don't want you passing out in your clothes. Plus, I want to hang out with you for a bit and hear all about this audition that made you blow up the house.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: dub-/non-con, rape, abuse, domestic discipline.
> 
> Not a nice story. Not kidding.

In the morning, Kurt is ravenous, but he finds himself more inclined to burrow into Blaine's side because he's deliciously warm, and their apartment is eagerly feeling the first days of fall.

Blaine groans. “You make me want to call in sick,” he says, rolling over and pulling Kurt tight against him.

“Can you?” Kurt asks hopefully.

“I shouldn't.”

“But _can_ you?”

Blaine thinks for a moment. “Is that something you need today?”

“I... I think it would help,” Kurt says, knowing the suggestion is likely to be double-edged.

“I can work from home, but if you have anything scheduled, you don't anymore.”

Kurt nods. “Okay,” he says, and his voice only waivers a little.

Blaine yanks the blankets off them and slaps Kurt's ass. “Up. Make us breakfast. If I'm this hungry, you're surely miserable.”

“A bit,” Kurt says, heading to his closet.

“Do you think you learned your lesson?” Blaine asks.

Kurt shrugs noncommittally. “I think I've learned better than to pretend I'm sure of much right now.”

Blaine makes a considering noise.

“Take it as a good thing, Blaine. This isn't me fighting. Not right now.”

*

After they eat, Blaine is fascinated when Kurt sits on the floor by the couch as he works on his laptop. It's more than he expected so soon, or perhaps ever.

“Just so we're clear,” Kurt says, fidgeting with the edge of the carpet, “I'm passive-aggressively asking you to pet me, not volunteering to forgo my use of furniture.”

“Not up to you,” Blaine says, with distracted good humor as his hand automatically goes to Kurt's hair.

“I really need to talk to someone about this, Blaine,” Kurt reminds him.

“Haven't said you can't.”

“Would you?”

“If I felt that your desire to do so was a problem, yes.”

“That's a little disturbing.”

“ _No_ , you think that's a little disturbing,” Blaine says. “But we're adults. If you think this is some sort of shameful secret you can't tell anyone, I'd suggest you think about why.”

“Whatever,” Kurt says, because really, Blaine's being disingenuous. Their friends are far more likely to be appalled by how Blaine is handling Kurt's behavior than Kurt's behavior.

Blaine yanks his hair hard in response to that dismissal. “Do you want to have what I agree is an important conversation or do you want me to punish you?”

“I get a choice?” 

“You get a choice on whether you check your attitude, yes.”

Kurt takes several angry breaths through his nose until he calms somewhat. “All right,” he says, when he feels his rage subside a little, although he knows he'll probably wind up paying for it later anyway.

*

Somehow, they come to the conclusion – and the conversation is oddly hilarious and actually quite pleasant – that of all their mutual friends Tina is the least likely to completely freak out. 

Prurient interest from her is a given, and she'll make it more about sex than it is, but at least she won't gossip. Instead, she'll hoard it and hold it close and think it a little bit charming that Kurt is ashamed, even as she won't believe him that perpetually too gentle Blaine can really be like this.

So Kurt emails her and tells her she's been promoted and that he has terrible, just _terrible_ , secrets to burden her with. 

As he types it, he can practically hear her squeal, but even so, it takes an exchange of more than twenty emails over the course of a week for the entire story to come out. He bcc's Blaine on all of them, but Blaine offers no comment of his own. As valuable as Kurt's translation of the situation for a third party is to him, it's less immediately interesting than trying to establish punishments and routines Kurt actually responds to.

*

Spanking is good, Blaine has decided, in that Kurt understands what it means, and grasps from the length and severity of his punishments that Blaine isn't joking and this isn't some sort of slightly naughty play in which punishment is really, secretly some sort of award. 

But getting and maintaining Kurt's attention has never been easy, and it's clear, quickly, that he requires _more_. And not just in the form of what the websites Blaine has read exhaustively enough to often be annoyed by their sentence construction have referred to as “maintenance spankings.” 

When Kurt is punished for specific things he's done wrong it's hard for Blaine to stop his fiancé’s shame from morphing into anger before it reaches contrition, but with the maintenance spankings, he seems to acquiesce more easily, clinging close to Blaine after and seeming genuinely grateful. 

Blaine thinks it's beautiful. 

He's never been so happy to have been right about something in his life.

Sending Kurt to bed without supper also seems to settle him more than Blaine would have expected, but then Kurt has always tried to control himself and others through food, so maybe it's all just a trick of finding Kurt's private languages without catering to him.

The thing is, however, that it's all very time consuming, and part of the problem that started their life on this path is just how little time Blaine has for Kurt's bullshit. Of course, he enjoys this more than the back-chat and chaos, but he's still relieved to discover that slapping Kurt balls sharply even half a dozen time reduces him instantly to begging, pleading and tears, and so it becomes Blaine's go-to when he's rushed to force Kurt onto his back, shove his knees to his shoulders and take care of his disobedience like that.

That swiftness, Kurt gets, and Blaine adores how it leaves the man ashamed and half hard. As he watches Kurt struggle day-by-day with who and what he is now, he only loves him more.

*

Tina refrains from calling Kurt until he asks her to, nudging him along instead via email. _And then what happened?_ she asks. _How do you feel about that?_ And, _perhaps this is crass, but is it working?_

“Hi,” he says softly when he finally gives her leave to call.

“Hi.”

“I... sorry, gosh, that was probably a lot to unload on you.”

She shrugs, even though he can't see it. “How are you?”

“Looking for the walls,” he says.

“What do you mean?”

“The scope, the scope of the thing keeps changing. Maybe that's why I'm not okay with it?”

“How did it change this time?”

“It doesn't matter,” he says, because god, he is not going to talk to Tina about his _balls_. There are limits. Even here.

“If you weren't worried about what everyone else thinks or would think, how would you feel?”

“Sore.”

Tina snorts. “This is why I'm not worried.”

“Why's that?”

“You're still bitter and sharp.”

“What if Blaine doesn't want me to be bitter and sharp anymore?”

“You should ask him that. But my guess is he just doesn't want you being bitter and sharp at him. Or yourself.”

Kurt ponders that for a moment. “Why doesn't this alarm you?” he asks, with an openness he knows she remembers from before he had even come out when they were all so much younger.

“I read porn on the Internet,” she says shrugging. “Not like no one's ever imagined what you two are doing. And really, you always had the biggest and most oddly practical imaginations of all of us.”

*

“I talked to Tina today,” Kurt says when Blaine gets home.

“Hmmmm? How did that go?” Blaine asks as he wanders around the apartment checking to see if Kurt's left anything notably askew.

“Fine,” he says with a chuckle. “She's funny. I think we have her blessing.”

“Does that help for you?”

Kurt pauses to consider it. “Oddly, yes. Having it makes me realize I guess we don't need it.”

“You worry too much. You have _got_ to work on giving some of that over to me,” Blaine says.

“Honestly Blaine, I don't know what else I could give over to you at this point. You choose my food for me _in restaurants_.”

“And when you stop talking back, doubting me, and obsessing on all the wrong things, maybe I'll let you have some of the little things back.”

Kurt can tell by Blaine's tone he's in trouble again, and he can't stop himself from making a small, miserable noise at the realization.

“I know, baby,” Blaine says, brushing a lock of hair that's fallen into Kurt's eyes out of the way. “Maintenance, and then when you're in a fit state to listen we'll talk bigger picture, okay?”

“You mean you'll talk and I'll...” Kurt says sullenly, ending in a random gesture because he still can't quite make himself say it.

“Work exceptionally hard to meet my expectations? Yes. Now go in the bedroom and get undressed.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: dub-/non-con, rape, abuse, domestic discipline.
> 
> Not a nice story. Not kidding. Especially this chapter.

When Blaine finishes spanking Kurt, Kurt reaches for Blaine's fly automatically.

“No, not yet,” he says, pushing Kurt's hands away. 

“What?” Kurt asks, tearfully.

“Things to talk about, remember?” Blaine says. “But I'm glad you're so eager.”

Kurt nods.

“Look, I realize from how things have been and your emails with Tina – thank you for including me on those, by the way. I didn't ask you to, but it was the right choice and showed a level of consideration and respect for me that I've been hoping for. Anyway, I realize that you need a better sense of my expectations. It's easy for you to know not to leave your things everywhere; you should know that without me having to tell you. But there are lots of things you don't know, and it's only fair if I tell you.”

Kurt nods. This feels scary already, but he's so damn glad Blaine's just finally telling him what's going on, because when he's felt like he could ask he's gotten everything wrong, and more and more, he just hasn't felt like he can ask. Things are as they are, and there's nothing he can do about it. He sniffs at that thought; he and Blaine once had all these plans together, and now they have all these plans like this, and Kurt doesn't even know what _this_ is.

“Still with me?” Blaine asks.

“Yeah, sorry. I... there's a lot to think about.”

“I know. And I'm about to give you some more. I think you've got a handle on how I expect you to keep the house by now, yeah?”

Kurt nods.

“But what I don't think I've been clear enough with you on is that this is about respect. Your respect for me, and for our household and for our relationship and for yourself. It's not your fault that you struggle with some of these things. You got dealt some shit cards, you're not good at some stuff, you struggle with trust, and now this is just the way we have to do things.”

Kurt nods again in lieu of telling Blaine to get to the point.

“So punishments will continue as needed. As will maintenance. I may decide that we do more maintenance, because it seems to settle you, and if I need to spank you every day for you to understand your place, that's what I'm going to do. You deserve that security.”

“What do you mean by _my place_?” Kurt asks, more weary than anything else.

“One, this is not a democracy. Two, I make the rules. Three, rules are enforced by punishment and additional activities that remind you of the state of things. This isn't just about housekeeping. This is about what you eat, when you sleep, how we fuck, what you wear and who you talk to. I don't want to micromanage you, but I will if I have to. I hope that's starting to become clear.”

“It is.”

“How do you feel about that?”

“Like it's not fair. Like this isn't what I signed up for. Like I can't tell you no.”

Blaine smiles. “All of those things are true. It isn't fair that it has to be this way for you, but it does. And this isn't what you signed up for because I didn't get it, and I'm sorry. And you're exactly right. No more no. If you have a concern, I want to hear it. But there's no _later_ or _I'm not in the mood_ or _I don't want to_. You need to trust me with yourself.”

“You do understand what most people would think of this, don't you, Blaine?”

“We've never been most people. And when I'm punishing you, from now on, you need to call me sir, because I want you to remember your place, but also be able to differentiate between who I am when I'm loving you and who I have to be when I'm helping you find your way. Are you going to be willing to do that for me?”

“I thought you said I couldn't say no, _sir_ ,” Kurt snarks.

Blaine swats his bottom for that. “At least I'm being clear. We're also going to try some new punishment things and some new maintenance things. I'm always going to tell you why you're being punished and at least a little bit about what's going to happen to you. And I know you're always going to, but the goal is for you to stop fighting me.”

“What happens when I finally get everything right? Will you stop?”

Blaine closes his eyes like he's pained. “You can't be perfect, Kurt. And trying causes you so much pain. Just try to give it up to me, okay? That's what I'm here for, and this is our life now. There aren't days off for holidays or good behavior or our wedding whenever we finally figure out a date. But there's us and happiness and a better life and when you get a little more settled there are going to start being rewards too, because I want to reinforce the good too. All you have to do is respect me and be honest with me, and everything else is going to get easier from here, okay?”

“No,” Kurt says meekly, “because I don't believe you. But I _do_ love you, and I know I trust you.”

“Well, then that's where we'll start,” Blaine says, taking Kurt's wrists and fastening them together with a pair of cuffs, before kissing each of his palms. “I've a set for your ankles too. The goal is for this to quiet your mind as much as your body.”

Kurt nods. On the list of new things Blaine has introduced into their life in the last few weeks this one is almost easy. 

“I'm going to bind you most days. Just for a little while, so this isn't instead of anything, but in addition to. I hope it's something you can learn to see as a reward, to make some of your other punishments easier for you.”

“I hesitate to ask,” Kurt mutters.

“Did you want to rephrase that.”

Kurt bites back a _no_ , takes a deep breath, says, “Like what, sir?”

Blaine kisses him. “Thank you. Why don't we take one out for a trial run now. It should help make a few points clear besides.”

*

Toys have never been a particularly large part of their sex life. Kurt has always found the idea of them somewhere between absurd and embarrassing, and Blaine has just considered them unnecessary. He's been more than happy with Kurt's wet mouth and the slide of skin on skin when he's fucked into him. Since they started having sex, they've always had a lot of it, and if Kurt has often been reluctant to discuss it, Blaine hasn't really minded.

Now, it's different though, and Blaine feels like he can see it for what it is. A failure of trust and comfort and his not having understood what Kurt has needed to feel safe, to be adventurous, to let go, to _serve_.

In truth, Blaine's still getting used to that idea in his head, that that's the word for it, and so it's not one he's going to use with Kurt until he is sure he is absolutely comfortable with it.

Part of the problem, really, is the lack of terminology for what they are in this arrangement. Because Kurt is not his sub or his slave. This is not bedroom play, and Kurt is not his dear little submissive wife because Kurt is not a girl, although Blaine lies about that on the domestic discipline blogs, because it's just easier to get advice or brag about the strides Kurt has made without dealing with the gay thing. It's one problem, especially as Kurt tells him over and over he wants peers and examples that prove that what they are doing is neither dangerous nor abusive, that he has no idea how to contend with.

Right now, though, he doesn't have to, because Kurt is on his back on their bed, legs spread ( _I will tie your legs open if you won't hold them open_ , Blaine had said, and Kurt had complied), his face streaked with tears from Blaine slapping his dick. He's struggling, but he is obeying, and Blaine thinks it's amazing as he absently runs his fingers over Kurt's hole.

Kurt tries to push down onto Blaine's fingers with a moan. Blaine slaps at his cock again.

“This is not about you getting off,” he says, and then picks up and slicks the toy that's been lying on their night table, that Kurt's been trying not to look at.

Kurt squeezes his eyes shut as Blaine presses it against his opening.

“Deep breath,” he says, and Kurt complies. But when he tells him to let it out, he holds it for many moments too long until Blaine says, “Trust me.”

He slides it in quickly then, as Kurt's muscle can't help but relax for a second. Kurt grunts and pulls his legs up as it goes in, and then starts squirming miserably when Blaine makes no effort to fuck him with it.

“Stop squirming.”

“Please, Blaine,” Kurt whines.

“What?”

“I don't like it; take it out or at least fuck me with it or _something_.”

“No demands, Kurt; you know that.”

“It HURTS, Blaine.”

“Do you feel like it's damaging you in any way?”

“No.”

“Then _trust_ me,” Blaine says, before squeezing the bulb attached from a line at the base of the dildo, causing it to inflate slightly inside Kurt.

“Noooo, no, please... _please_ don't.”

“You can take this. It's also not up to you. You need to serve this way just as much as any other, okay? And disobedience is going to have the same sort of consequences.” He pumps the bulb several more times then.

Kurt whimpers and shifts and moves to close his legs as he feels it expand inside of him, but Blaine just leans forward to rest his weight against one of his legs to hold them open.

“What are you thinking?” Blaine asks softly.

“I can't believe you're doing this,” Kurt grits out.

“Kurt, everything about you from the day we've met has been about you wanting to be seen and loved and cherished while adoring someone with everything you have; and when you've pretended otherwise it's just been because you've been hurt so much. I _know_ you were treated like crap for it, and I _know_ people told you it was too feminine or needy or impossible. I also know that you're freaked out that I'm finally taking you in hand, but I _promise_ you, you've wanted this for a long time, and one day you will be so glad that I'm doing this for you.”

“Take it out,” Kurt says again, firmly.

“No.”

The simple one-word firmness of Blaine's voice seems to have some effect, and he watches a series of expressions flit across Kurt's face, until he finally tips his head back and looks at the ceiling and sighs. 

“Then please, sir,” Kurt begs, voice small, breathy, desperate and _scared_ , “make it feel good.”

Blaine sucks a kiss into the inside of Kurt's thigh. “Not right now, baby. You've been pretty awful about this, and I need you to understand that your body isn't something you can refuse me.”

He inflates the toy further then, as Kurt cries and whimpers but no longer actively protests, and Blaine slaps at his cock several times for good measure, amused as Kurt becomes hard.

“See baby, this is why you need to trust me. I know what you need, and I know what you're going to like."

Kurt whimpers and tries to buck up to get some friction against his cock, but Blaine shakes his head. “Stay right there,” he says, levering himself off the bed. “I'll be right back.”

*

He returns with a bowl of ice.

“Like I said, this isn't about your pleasure right now,” he says, and Kurt whimpers and begs and sobs as Blaine presses an ice cube to his now rapidly softening dick.

He runs the ice up and down Kurt's length, waiting until Kurt's gone entirely soft and is only making noises of breathy, miserable frustration, to speak again.

“From now on, you only come with my permission. You only touch yourself with my permission. As I think you can imagine, the consequences of disobeying are probably the sort of thing you want to avoid.”

This time, when Kurt starts crying he doesn't even make a sound.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: dub-/non-con, rape, abuse, domestic discipline.
> 
> Not a nice story. Not kidding.

“I don't know, Kurt. I'm a lot more uncomfortable with this than anything else you've said to me about it so far,” Tina says when Kurt calls her the next day while Blaine is at work.

“Look, I'm not finding it super funsies to tell you I came harder than I ever have in my _life_ anymore than you're enjoying hearing it --”

“That's not what I meant.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“It's just... look, before I was like, 'okay, I can see how this might be disturbing to other people but if it works for them so be it,' but now I'm pretty much sure I'm supposed to tell you that this is not okay, but it's also your life and you don't sound totally unhappy and what am I supposed to do, like stage an intervention or something?”

“Please don't,” Kurt says dryly.

“If you could have anything at all right now, what would you want?”

“No hard questions.”

“Seriously.”

“No, that's what I mean. I just wish we could rewind rewind rewind.”

“And you can't.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you want to come up here for a few days? Just hang out. No Blaine. No pressure from me. Just, figure out where your head is without the sensory overload.”

“I don't really know how that would go over.”

“And that doesn't alarm you?”

“Tina, seriously. If I'd told him I needed a few days to think and had taken off before all this, that wouldn't have gone over well either. Legitimately so. Frankly, I'd be furious if he did that to me, then or now.”

“You should ask him though. See what he says. You're allowed to ask for things, right?”

“Yeah,” Kurt says. “Of course I am. I'm just not allowed to ask for the absence of other things.”

“Well ask, see what he says.”

“Yeah. Okay. Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Haven't you ever done anything you hated at the time, but liked after the fact.”

“Sure, but pretty logic doesn't make you saying no and Blaine saying yes the same as that time Puck pretty much bodily dragged me onto a rollercoaster.”

“How do you know?” Kurt asks.

“I think it's kind of obvious,” Tina says.

“But it's not. That's the problem.”

*

Kurt does ask Blaine if he can bail out for a few days to chill at Tina's and Blaine doesn't say no or get angry. 

He just asks if Kurt really wants him to say yes, and Kurt knows instantly that he doesn't, that dealing whatever this is between them now seems infinitely preferable to sitting at Tina's freaking out and trying to think about this mess the way everyone else would want him to.

“No, I don't actually.”

Blaine smiles at him. “Tell her I said no. Or tell her I said yes and you don't want to. Hell, make me talk to her if you think it'll help.”

“Okay,” Kurt says hesitantly.

“You did good asking. You can always ask.”

Kurt lets out a heavy sigh. “Okay, good. Then I have a bunch of other asks.”

Blaine pats the couch next to him and Kurt sits, happy to have Blaine wrap his arms around him.

“Okay, shoot.”

“Are we always going to be talking about this? Can it just be this thing? Because I am _exhausted_ from it being the main topic. There a lot of things right now I'm uncomfortable with, but it's that, more than anything.”

“Yeah, of course. I... you're doing really well. It's just been a transition. If we both know what's expected of us an act accordingly, no, it's like... making dinner and doing the laundry and paying bills on time and me telling you how much I adore you at random and just... background. It'll become background, Kurt, perfect background noise. I promise.”

“Okay.”

“What else?”

“I just need to tell you something while I'm not crying and you're not punishing me, because I need you to hear it and if there are repercussions from that, fine.”

“Go on.”

“I said no last night, and you --”

“You don't get no.”

“People get no. Normal people get no,” Kurt says sulkily, wanting to launch himself off the sofa and pace, but Blaine holds him tight and Kurt has no desire to wind up in a scuffle about it.

“We're not normal people Kurt.”

“Okay, please just let me finish this thought?”

“Go ahead.”

“I said no. You did it anyway. I was scared and I hated it and then you made me feel amazing and I was crying the entire time and I don't know what to do with that. And I feel like I should tell you I don't _ever_ want that to happen again, because I was not okay with that; it was not okay for me.”

Blaine rubs Kurt's back soothingly. “But the answer's right there in what you just said, babe. It was bad, and then it was good. The more you give me your trust, the faster I'm going to be able to take things from bad to good, right?”

Kurt nods his head and curls into Blaine side. His fiancé’s making perfect sense, and Kurt feels like he should be smart and sharp enough to prove why he isn't actually, why it's just a trick of words and chemicals, but it sounds good and safe and easy, and if fighting isn't working, maybe Blaine's really right, and he just needs to surrender.

*

Later that night he tells Blaine he needs to be spanked; his voice is small and tremulous as he says it and he doesn't know where it's coming from, but that's what he's feeling and Blaine says he can _ask_. 

Blaine obliges, of course, and Kurt hates every second of it as he always does, but he is still grateful and yet shamed enough to feel nauseated when the tears come. Blaine spends a long time praising and petting him after and eventually goes down on him, pressing two fingers up inside Kurt as he does. 

“That's always hard,” Kurt says after he's come, when Blaine has crawled back up his body to lay his head on Kurt's chest.

“What?”

“It's like you're too far away when you suck me off, like I'll fly apart without you up here to hold me down.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: dub-/non-con, rape, abuse, domestic discipline.
> 
> Not a nice story. Not kidding.

They go out with some of Blaine's friends a few days later for karaoke and drinks. Kurt, ass and dick still sore from the spanking before they'd left, sticks close to Blaine, pressed against his side and happy to smile and observe more than participate.

“I swear,” Sarah says, “You two get cuter every time I see you together.”

Kurt blushes as he can feel Blaine preen just a little.

“We're in another one of our honeymoon phases,” Kurt says, with just a little bit of the nasty smugness that everyone always expects from him.

Blaine leans over to kiss his hair. “I'm so lucky you don't even know,” Blaine says. “He's just everything.”

When Kurt sighs and scoots closer to Blaine, Blaine pinches his arm hard and suggests he gets up to sing them all a song. He beams as Kurt slides out of his embrace and runs up to the little stage.

“You two really are perfect,” Sarah says as she watches him watch Kurt.

*

When they get home, they each do another shot, Blaine telling Kurt he likes him lazy and pliant, before they go to bed. Blaine hoists Kurt's legs over his shoulders then, folding him in half to fuck him. When Kurt reaches for his dick, Blaine slaps his hand away and Kurt whines and begs and moans, pulling on his own hair as he tries to get through it without being allowed to get off.

“Please, please,” he gasps, after Blaine's come inside him and pulled out.

“Not tonight, babe,” Blaine says sleepily. “Need you to remember your place after all that praise.”

Kurt whines, and so Blaine grabs one of his nipples and twists much harder than he likes, until Kurt yelps and begs Blaine to stop.

“Don't move,” he says, as he lets go and shifts to rummage in the small table by their bed, bringing out Kurt's cuffs.

“Blaine, you don't --”

“Don't tell me what I need to do when you don't even know what you need to do,” he says as he fastens them onto Kurt's wrists then hooks them together. “I'm trusting you get the idea not to jerk off here, because I really don't have the energy to fasten those to the bed right now. But you are sleeping in them, and we'll deal with the rest of this in the morning.”

Kurt makes a sad miserable sound, as Blaine curls around him again. 

“I'm glad you're starting to understand what it feels like to let me down." He says. "Now go to sleep.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: dub-/non-con, rape, abuse, domestic discipline.
> 
> Not a nice story. Not kidding.

In the morning, Kurt wakes to Blaine rubbing at his hands.

“Everything still good here?” Blaine asks while Kurt is still more asleep than generally allows him to make words.

He nods and makes an affirmative noise. His arms are stiff, and his back aches, because having his hands cuffed together made him sleep at an odd angle, but his hands are fine. The cuffs really hadn't been particularly tight anyway.

Blaine rolls him over onto his stomach and begins spanking him. It's light at first, enough for it to seem like play and for Kurt to rock his morning hard-on into the bed and moan a little. He's not really awake yet, and Blaine is chuckling warmly beside him and occasionally petting his back. The attention is nice.

“This isn't about you getting off,” Blaine whispers in his ear such that Kurt can hear the smile in his voice. “This is for last night.”

Kurt whimpers and Blaine starts smacking him harder. It doesn't, however, make Kurt stop rocking into the bed, even if it's now largely about rocking away from Blaine's hand that sometimes stops to pinch him hard enough to bring up little bruises in the spot where ass becomes thigh.

Eventually Blaine pulls him onto his side, telling Kurt to put one foot on the bed with his knee bent so that Blaine has better access.

“You're so hard,” he whispers.

Kurt nods frantically and whimpers, and he hopes, since Blaine sounds as turned on as he is, that this will mean he's getting a reprieve, because fuck he wants to get off right now, and if he's going to have to analyze the hell out of it later, so be it. He's so close to feeling amazing.

And then Blaine starts slapping at his dick and balls and it hurts and he can't help but twist and struggle to get away, but not hard enough, not really, because maybe if he's good Blaine will just fix everything.

Blaine gives a low, breathy chuckle and Kurt wonders if he's said as much aloud. He flicks his nails sharply against the underside of the head of Kurt's cock and then Kurt's bucking up sharply, surprising them both as he comes.

There's a stunned silence for a moment, filled only by their rough breathing, and then Blaine's pulling on Kurt's hair hard and dragging his mouth onto his cock.

“That was so hot,” he gasps, once Kurt's mouth is on him. “But now I can't let you come for a week.”

It comes out as a moan, but whether that's Kurt's ministrations or Blaine's own disappointment with himself, neither of them can tell.

*

Blaine does not, actually, spend the week setting Kurt up for failure. It surprises Kurt a little, and he winds up telling Blaine as much. 

“Maybe I really do have to trust you more,” he says.

Instead of being angry, Blaine seems grateful for the opportunity to explain.

“I never want you to fail, not ever. Anything I do, Kurt, it's about wanting you to succeed,” he says, and so yes, when Blaine wants them to fuck, they fuck, but once Blaine's come it's not like he lays there stroking Kurt to the edge. Instead he pets his sides and kisses him, making small soothing noises as he reminds him that he needs to calm down, that he's not to come this week, that he hasn't earned his pleasure, that he needs to be more obedient so that they can always, always do these things together.

Kurt, although he would never admit it, loves it – the ache and the hurt and the humiliation and the care. It's all so much quieter than everything in this arrangement has been, and Blaine doesn't want him to fail; there aren't a lot of other people he could say that about.

Sometimes, Blaine even offers to get him ice while he squeezes Kurt's cock. But Kurt always declines, with a polite “No thank you, sir.” He has to learn, after all.

But just because Blaine doesn't want him to fail doesn't mean it's easy when Blaine rims him after beating his balls or tells him to touch himself when he's sucking Blaine off because his fiance likes how it looks.

It's agonizing, and Kurt doesn't even make it halfway through the week before he wakes up in the night, sticky against Blaine and having come in his sleep.

When he tells Blaine, his voice meek and careful to call him sir, when their alarm goes off in the morning, there's a moment where he thinks Blaine will tell him it's all right, that it's a physiological response that can't be helped, that he won't punish Kurt for what he can't control.

Instead Blaine groans and throws an arm over his eyes. “I was really hoping you wouldn't want to see how bad things can get,” he says.

*

Kurt's first instinct is to beg and plead and frantically apologize. It's not an instinct he likes. It speaks, he thinks, of fear, and he doesn't like being afraid. Not of anyone. And not of Blaine who told him _courage_.

“I don't know what you want me to say,” he says, and it's not defiant, but it is a little despairing.

Blaine is silent next to him, breathing through his nose, thinking.

“It's not like I planned that. I didn't wake up in the middle of the night and think, 'Oh, I'll rub off against Blaine's hip,'” Kurt continues, getting brave now, getting annoyed.

Blaine snorts, but doesn't otherwise move.

Kurt smiles. Somehow, in all of this, they are still the same.

“You have anything today?” Blaine asks.

“Not 'til three. Dance class. Audition.”

“Okay,” Blaine says, a plan gathering. “I have to go to work. Go find something you think you deserved to be spanked with for this, bend over the bed and wait, while I get ready. Also, you're meeting me for lunch today.”

“Oh- _kay_ ,” Kurt says hesitantly.

Blaine turns to kiss him. “Don't question and don't think you're getting off easy,” he says. “Now up.”

*

Bent over their bed with his face buried in the softness of their messy comforter and a belt clutched in one hand just waiting for Blaine is awful. Kurt's bored, embarrassed and ashamed, because he doesn't have to be doing this. He could just sit there calmly until he hears the water of Blaine's shower turn off and then assume the position. Or he could get dressed and leave. But instead, he does what he's told and tries to still his mind, knowing he deserves this part too.

Blaine makes a random noise of approval at him when he gets out of the shower, but goes about dressing and fixing his hair without other comment. Kurt somehow knows better than to ask if he's been forgotten about.

Eventually, dressed in the grey suit that Kurt still thinks is just a little too shiny, Blaine is there, telling Kurt he made a good choice and stroking a hand down his back to his ass as he unwinds the belt from his hand.

The strokes start gentle, well, as gentle as they can be with a belt, which isn't very or else it's just absurd, and all the while Blaine is cooing at him. But he's not, as he so often does, telling Kurt how good he is, or how much he loves him, or how necessary this is. He's telling Kurt – gently, sweetly, kindly – how bad he's been, how much he deserves this this, and how futile he is without someone else to guide him.

Kurt's tears come fast and quiet and get Blaine's instant approval.

“That's right,” he says. “I know you know. It's so good that you know Kurt. It means you're going to let me help you.”

All Kurt can do is nod as the praise ramps up then with the force of Blaine's strokes and Kurt just surrenders himself to the necessity of it all.

After, Blaine has to help guide him to his knees where he sucks Blaine off, the texture of his trousers slightly rough against his skin and Blaine oddly patient. It seems less about saying thank you by getting Blaine off, and more about Kurt demonstrating his submission. 

But eventually, Blaine grabs his hair and growls something about not wanting to be late for work and fucks his face, eventually coming across it.

Kurt looks down at the floor and mumbles his thanks.

“One more thing,” Blaine says, digging in the night table drawer.

Kurt makes an interrogative sound.

“Over the bed again,” Blaine says.

When Kurt's positioned, Blaine slaps his ass once. Then, Kurt listens as he hears lube being opened, the squelch of wet, and then a pause before Blaine clinically pulls at an ass cheek and presses a plug into him in one swift motion. It's not thick, and the spanking has sort of relaxed him, but the intrusion, and the cold, is still shocking.

Kurt makes a despairing noise.

“I know, honey,” Blaine says. “But you have a lot to think about today, and we don't have time for me to address this the way it needs to be addressed right now.”

“Yes, sir,” Kurt says.

“You're going to stay here, like this, naked, with my come on your face until it's time to meet me. You can clean up before, of course, but the plug stays in.”

“Yes, sir,” Kurt says, because he can't imagine being in the world like this. It seems even harder than the strange awkward quiet that was seeing their friends while carrying this secret.

“ _And_ ,” Blaine says, and there's such a smile to his voice, “Message me with a shot of your face and of your ass every hour until then. Just so I know you didn't cheat.”

Kurt groans.

“I'll delete them after,” Blaine says, assuming that's the objection. “I just need to know how you're doing.”

“Yes, sir,” Kurt bites out.

*

No matter how fucked up his life is, and his life _is_ fucked up, Kurt finds he can only do despair for so long, and the first picture he sends Blaine of his face doesn't just feature his boyfriend's come, but a cheeky, lopsided grin.

Blaine laughs when he gets it, and texts back _I love you._

The shot of his ass is more challenging. Kurt can't find a good angle, and it all sort of comes out a blur. He sends it with apologizes.

 _Keep trying_ , Blaine writes back.

Before Kurt reply with an indignant, _I have been_ , his phone chimes again.

 _I mean each hour_ , Blaine says correcting himself. _God, I don't need hundreds of blurry photos of your ass._

Kurt laughs. _I love you too_ , he writes back. _See you at lunch._

_Can't wait. xo._

*

Lunch is awkward and funny, and as Kurt picks at his salad, Blaine murmurs about how smitten he is with him. Kurt blushes all the way to the tips of his ears.

“I'm sorry I had to go in today,” Blaine says after a bit, turning his attention to his own food, "Or that I have to go back later." He's quiet, serious, and a little bit shamed. “I didn't... I never want to leave you alone after something like that.”

Kurt makes a noise at him to continue and digs around in his salad to see if all the dried cranberries are gone already; it would be tragic if they were.

“Look,” Blaine says, leaning close across the table and dropping his voice to just above a whisper. “I'm never going to punish you by withholding my affection. That's not even on the table. And I think you get that. You certainly... you've taken today in the spirit I intended. And I'm really grateful for that, but I just wanted to be clear.”

Kurt smiles sweetly. “I know. Thank you for saying it though. I'll hold you to it. _And_ tell Tina.”

Blaine laughs.

“Seriously though,” Kurt says, stabbing into his salad, “regardless of the facts of the matter, it helps a lot when you talk with me about all this.”

“Instead of at you,” Blaine says, to clarify.

“Yup.” Kurt nods. “Think of it as, I'm telling you something about my learning style. Not changing the curriculum.”

“I like this,” Blaine says. “You participating. I feel like you're finally _hearing_ what all this has been for.”

Kurt makes a face that's neither a grimace nor a smile. “I'm trying,” he says, with a heavy sigh. "It's hard."

“I know. If it weren't, we wouldn't need to do this.”

*

Blaine takes him to a sex toy shop. Kurt's a little bit mortified.

It's not that they don't own toys; it's that Blaine buys them without Kurt's presence or they use the wonder of the Internet. This is a bit much for him. And Blaine knows it.

“We're going to find you a chastity device,” Blaine murmurs in his ear, slipping his arm around Kurt's waist and yanking him close. “So you don't have to worry about disobeying me like that anymore.”

Kurt nods, because most of his energy is going towards not freaking out.

“I know it's hard for you to be in here. But I want to get it, and get it on you now, and send you home, so we can just move on, okay? If you really can't cope, tell me calmly and politely, and I'll do this on my own, and we'll address it when I get home, no significant additional punishment.”

“But you'd like me to try?” Kurt says miserably. Significant was clearly the operative word.

“Yes, I'd like you to try,” Blaine says. “Also, completely unrelated to this drama? You see anything that interests you as reward, grab it.”

Kurt blinks at him a little coquettishly. No matter how awkward this is, Kurt likes shopping, and maybe if he's good about this he can angle for some more sartorial and less embarrassing rewards in the future.

He giggles.

“What?” Blaine asks.

Kurt rolls his eyes and shakes his head. It seems too convoluted to explain right now how his brain has arrived at “butt plugs for boots.”

*

Blaine sighs. “All right,” he says, pinching the inside of Kurt's wrist hard. “Tell me later.”

Kurt doesn't yelp, although he wants to. He just says, “Yes, sir,” instead.

Much to Kurt's intense relief, Blaine is content to let him hang back through the process of explaining just what he's looking for to the sales girl.

Blaine tells Kurt, quietly, just what he's purchasing for him and how it should be able to be worn under his clothes, at least clothes other than his tightest jeans, inconspicuously.

“You can clean yourself through it, and the lock is plastic, easy to cut. If you need out and I'm not there, you can just do it. But the locks are numbered, so I'll know.”

Kurt nods. For what it is, it seems fair, or at least sane.

After he pays for it, Blaine talks the girl into letting him take Kurt into the shop's storage room, so he can put it on him now.

“This is so embarrassing,” Kurt hisses, as Blaine yanks his pants down and takes out the device.

Blaine pinches the inside of his thigh. “Another day for that, then,” he says calmly.

Kurt whimpers miserably.

Blaine pets at his thigh soothingly for a moment. “Hey, hey,” he says. “It means you can't get yourself into any more trouble. This is about me wanting you to succeed, baby. And,” Blaine adds, securing the plastic frame around Kurt's cock, “now we have a way to help you remember your place when I can't spank you.”

“What do you mean?”

“It's going to make the holidays a lot easier,” Blaine says, snapping the lock into place. “How does it feel?”

“Fine,” Kurt says, his voice tremulous and tight.

“How else?” Blaine pushes, as he tugs up Kurt's pants and refastens them.

“Like I need to be on my knees,” Kurt says softly.

“Good boy.”

“Like I need you to make me cry.”

Blaine gives a little involuntary gasp. “This is why I love disciplining you. You're learning so fast, and you're so good when you're good. I wish you could suck me off here.”

Kurt lowers his eyes. “Yes, sir,” he says softly.

“Now, are you going to be okay to get home on your own?”

“I have an audition; I have dance class,” Kurt says, remembering and alarmed, “and I can't even think like this.”

“Are they important?” Blaine asks.

“I --”

“No, seriously. Open call or --”

“Open call,” Kurt says.

“Up to you then,” Blaine says, dragging his knuckles softly along Kurt's cheek. “But you seem like you're feeling pretty good right now.”

Kurt nods. It's not untrue.

*

Getting home is weirdly more challenging than he expects. Having his cock caged like this makes Kurt hyper-aware not only of his dick and of wanting to get off, but also of his relationship with Blaine, or rather, his relationship to him, and navigating the city on his own when he feels as if it would be more appropriate for him to be led is a bit much.

 _All I can do is think about this thing on me_ , Kurt texts Blaine when he gets home.

 _Think about what that means, then_ , Blaine texts back.

Kurt thinks he sounds terse, annoyed, although he knows that's irrational -- it's a text.

 _Kneel if you have to,_ comes the next message. _Your place doesn't change just because I'm not home._

 _Yes, sir,_ Kurt types back. _Thank you._

 

When Blaine comes home, Kurt is sitting on the floor, contentedly altering a shirt.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: dub-/non-con, rape, abuse, domestic discipline.
> 
> Not a nice story. Not kidding.

“You look nervous,” Blaine says a week later, when it’s time to finally let Kurt out of his chastity device.

“I’ve gotten used to it,” Kurt says quietly.

“No,” Blaine says. “Well, yes, but no. You’ve gotten used to being mine, because it reminds you all the time.”

Kurt nods and bites his lip. 

Blaine thumbs at it. “Don’t do that. Or I won’t be able to say I haven’t had to punish you for anything this week. Just maintenance.”

“A lot of maintenance,” Kurt says.

“I’ve accused you of a lot of things, Kurt. None of them are being easy,” Blaine says with a laugh.

Kurt smirks.

“Take your clothes off and lie down.” 

When Kurt obeys him, Blaine corrects him. “No, on your stomach.”

Blaine puts a plug in him before cuffing his wrists together. It’s not the inflatable one, so Kurt knows that means he’s supposed to be brave enough not to cry, but he doesn’t know how long Blaine’s going to make him wear it or if he’s going to spank him with it in.

“Turn your head for me,” Blaine says.

When Kurt turns his face to him, he finds a dildo attached to a gag pressed against his lips. 

“Open,” Blaine says and Kurt knows he’s not supposed to resist, but the idea of not being able to talk seems scary, and not even for reasonable reasons of things they don’t have like safewords, but because for all he knows Blaine will keep him this way for a week.

“It’s not that big, Kurt, and we don’t have all day.”

Kurt opens, but his jaw moves so slowly, that, that it takes an act of will is obvious.

Blaine pushes the gag in and buckles it behind his head. “Don’t just sit there,” he says, caressing Kurt’s cheek. “Suck on it. Whenever you have cock in your mouth, you need to be working, okay?”

Kurt nods and moans and sucks.

“Now I want you to pay attention,” Blaine says.

Kurt nods.

“Good boy,” he says, as he pets down Kurt’s back. “I’m going to let you out of that cage in a bit. That’s not permission for you to come and the fact that you need my permission -- _always_ now – hasn’t changed. Do you understand?”

Kurt nods.

“We’ll be using the cage regularly. Sometimes for punishment, sometimes for reinforcement, sometimes to help you? Okay? Now I’ve got you all bound up because you’ve had a lot of restriction lately, and I know you, you don’t do well without structure and I don’t want you to fly apart on me all at once. So we’re going to take that off, and then I’ll let you out of the other things one by one, until it’s time for bed, so the only thing holding you together tonight will be my arms.”

Kurt nods and smiles as best he can around the gag.

“So sweet,” Blaine says, caressing his face again. “We’re going to need another gag though, I see you fidgeting for comfort. A few more straps, won’t you feel better if you can’t help but keep your mouth closed tight around that?”

Kurt moans, desperately aroused even if he can’t really get hard and is terrified at yet another road crossed as he imagines a life where he never does anything but wait for Blaine to act upon his body and praise him for it.

“You’re probably going to need another spanking before we go to sleep too,” Blaine adds, kneading at Kurt’s ass. “But I guess you knew that, right?”

Kurt moans again, but there’s a clear whimper in there, and his eyes are wet when they blink up at Blaine.

“God,” Blaine breathes. “I love you like this. So much trust. So good, Kurt, so good. I hope you understand that all this hard work is worth it.”

Kurt closes his eyes and lets himself drift. It’s not like there’s anything to discuss. Occasionally he feels Blaine pinch at his ear lobe, and so he starts to suck harder at his gag. It doesn’t do to be lazy, not when this is the only thing that he is for.


End file.
